Being diagnosed with a chronic condition can completely change a person’s life. Trying to come to terms with this new reality and everything that it brings can be so difficult physically, emotionally and mentally.
If you have a friend that has a chronic condition, it can be hard to know the best way to support them. Sometimes you may not know what to say, what to do or how to act. Just the mere fact that you are taking the time to read this and look for ways to connect is a HUGE way you are already supporting your friend and we know they very much appreciate it!
We also know that you are looking for some tangible action ways you can support your friend though and we wanted to help you out by providing some ideas of how you can do so! So here are 7 things you can do to support your friend living with a chronic condition!
1 – Take A Little Time To Research Their Illness
If you are able (aka this won’t give you medical anxiety or overwhelm you), this is a simple, but really meaningful thing you can do for a friend with a chronic illness!
Now we aren’t suggesting you go read studies or anything like that, what we mean is just googling what the condition is and what the symptoms are so you can better understand what your friend may be going through.
If you do even the tiniest amount of research on your own, you’ll have some knowledge next time you ask how they are doing. When you do this, your friend will feel less alone, more understood and free to talk about it without feeling like you have no idea what they are saying or are not wanting to hear about it. They will truly appreciate it so much!
2 – Give Them A Space To Share
A lot of chronically ill people have a lot to say and share, but feel like they can’t because it’s all health related and can become a buzzkill on a conversation pretty quickly.
You can create space for your friend to share by setting aside some one on one time and saying something along the lines of: “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but how are you actually doing with everything going on health wise?”
You can also reassure your friend that it’s not driving you away to hear about what’s going on with them so they feel safer to share the truth.
This is going to strengthen both sides of the friendship!
3 – Don’t Comment On Their Appearance
With chronic illnesses, a lot of patients appearences change due to medications, treatements, inability to exercise, inability to eat or even just because of the nature of the illness itself.
Commenting on their appearance can be a huge trigger point for them so try to steer away from the comments about how they look since you don’t know why they look the way they do.
And on the opposite end of that, we recommend not saying, “you don’t look sick”. Though it may seem like a compliment, it’s actually really frustrating and invalidating since most people with chronic illnesses spend a lot of time trying to justify their illnesses to doctors and other people in general that don’t believe them.
So the best thing to say about their appearance is probably nothing.
4 – Include Them In Plans
Often times, those with chronic illnesses aren’t able to do certain activities. They end up having to not go to certain functions or get togethers usually due to their illness, but after a while because people stop inviting them.
This can be really hard on your friend. One way to combat this is to just continue to invite them and let them know that you completely understand if they can’t come, but wanted to let them know they are invited!
An example of this could be that even if your friend isn’t able to eat food, still invite them to group outings with food. It’s up to them to figure out if they are able to mentally, physically or emotionally go, but it will mean a lot to them to still be included!
5 – Be Flexible
Going off that last tip, a lot of chronic illness patients have to cancel plans last minute or have to adjust what they are able to do so having friends be flexible and understanding is so so helpful!
Knowing that if they feel sick they can tell you and that you would be willing to be flexible with the plan prior or during, will make them feel more comfortable making plans with you and more likely to actually go!
6 – Believe Them
Whether they have been officially diagnosed or not, believe them. So many people around them may not be believing them (either their symptoms or that they even have anything wrong) because they don’t look sick and that can be really isolating.
Letting them know you believe them can be everything to them!
7 – Don’t Forget Who They Are Apart From Their Illness
Remember your friend is more than just their illness! Though their illness may be a big part of their lives, it isn’t who they are.
P.S. Sometimes they may need this reminder too!
Reader Interactions